Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Effective Apologies

Summary
An apology is an expression of regret. Effective apologies involve the apologizer taking full responsibility and pledging to prevent repeat offences.


Sorry, Frankenapple. At least you're alive.
(Photo: 1happysnapper at Flickr)

Commentary
When we hear a child say "I'm sorry" when prompted, the insincerity is often palatable. Similar apologies by politicians and CEOs of recent have illicit similar reactions. What makes an apology effective?

Effective apologies should address:
  1. which norm (personal, social) was violated,
  2. acceptance of responsibility by the violator, and
  3. how the violations will be prevented in the future.
If these ideas sound familiar, it may be because that's what we tell our children.

Meta
What apologies have you found to be the most effective?

See Also

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Well, one time during my late teenage period, at a Shabbat dinner witht he family, I called my brother an idiot. My mother told me to apologize, so I turned back towards him and said, "I'm sorry you're an idiot."

I thought it was quite effective.

Ben-Torah said...

do we mean it?
sorry VS apology, and beyond
do I speak to repair, resent, justify, or repeat?
I regret what I have done
I intend not to repeat this
I feel bad about the consequences of my actions in your life / psyche
-or- the negative way I am now perceived?
& let us not forget the Plato trap...

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